Yogi Bhajan taught his male students a very important tool in life and relationships. He used to say, "Act, don´t react". It can be very difficult at first to understand what it means to "not react" and how this can have a positive effect in your relationships and your life. In any communication between men and women, there is both content and energy. Normally a woman communicates through energy while a man communicates through content. The reason for this is basically because women are more sensitive and energetically more present whereas men, in general, have the tendency to be more intellectual, acting rationally.
The man needs to master non-reactive communication. Being reactive is being unconscious, and responses are automatic. Men need to manage their energy when communicating with women, being mindful of a woman´s energetic power, respecting it, and responding to it appropriately. Inhibiting your reactions and re-directing your energy is a very yogic technique. In yogic practice, one way you can learn to not react is to perfect "simran", which is the constant remembrance of God by placing his name on every breath, either chanting it aloud or silently. In Kundalini Yoga, one way to practice simran is to silently and deeply inhale Saaat and exhale Naaam with every breath. Conscious breathing stops the pattern of anger that would otherwise go immediately to the Navel Point. This is also very helpful for daily situations and it can be practiced on one�s own alone. This practice can help the man to focus on the woman´s being as she communicates and, most importantly, it will minimize the tendency to create reactive, defensive and angry responses.
In any situation, no one, male or female, like to be interrupted when expressing themselves. However, the can be particularly frustrating for women. A woman´s expression needs to flow freely. Do not react or you´ll create a backup of negative energy. Allow the woman to finish her ideas, whether positive or negative, without interruption or reaction. Listen appreciatively because she is willing to give you her energy. If you feel criticized by a woman, allow her to fully express herself and then ask if there is more that she wants to communicate. This will convey to the woman that she is being understood and cared about.
Women are the manifestation of the moon, they reflect. They are the creative principle of the Universe, through which God has created everything. Men are the manifestation of the sun. A woman at her best is reflecting the spirit of the man, sustaining and nourishing him, while a man at his best is steady, shining, warm and stable. The steadier the light that shines out from man to woman, the more beauty and love is reflected back to him.
Communication between men and women is, in a way, reminiscent of White Tantric Yoga exercises during which the male and female partners each have a role and, when perfectly practiced by the partners, elevation and harmony are achieved. Similarly, when a woman is communicating, if her male partner can call upon �simran� while focusing on her totality, the result will be mutually elevating. Of course, it is sometimes very difficult for men not to defend their fragile egos or to refrain from finding a solution for the issue. But a wise man realizes that even during the most fraught or complicated discussion, the woman is looking for understanding and compassion. When these are provided, they often find their own solutions.